Finding Strength in Your Differences: A Word For Couples

Bible Reading: Psalm 139:1-10 & 1 Corinthians 12: 12-27

Have you ever heard the saying opposites attract? Well, this saying is true of a lot of couples. However, something happens when we get married where there is this temptation to make our spouses into copies of ourselves. For example, maybe you’re a person who is very organized, and structured, and so there may be times when you struggle to be spontaneous or go with the flow. So, when you start dating that person who is carefree, exciting, and adaptable it can feel like a breath of fresh air. You love the element of freedom that they bring to your life. While they really enjoy your ability to plan, focus, and attention to detail. When you’re dating there’s less risk and it can be easier to appreciate and even value the other person’s differences. However, when we get married the risks are greater, and the decisions that the person makes can seriously impact us. Suddenly, the carefree attitude you once loved feels like laziness, or your structured lifestyle feels too rigid or demanding.

To fix the issue, we push our partners to be more like us rather than finding strength in their differences. In Psalm 139: 1-10 the Lord describes being intimately and divinely aware of every single person. He describes the process of hand forming us in our mother’s womb and that we were wonderfully and fearfully made. God describes in Corinthians 12 that all parts of the body are needed to function the way He designed and that each part serves a purpose. Although, we may find ourselves in a marriage with a person who is very different from ourselves their uniqueness is just as special and valuable. God made each of us unique and our differences are meant to be appreciated, celebrated, and to work together. He says that each person has unique abilities and gifts, but when they work in harmony, they can accomplish their purpose. Rather than criticize your partner for their differences find helpful and encouraging ways to help them grow in their differences. During times of frustration remember what made these differences so attractive to begin with and the balance that they provide to your quirks, gifts, and abilities.

Couples Activity:

Photo Scavenger Hunt

As a reminder of how we are to work together. Your activity is a scavenger hunt. Use your skills to work together to do as many items as possible in the time allowed. Set a timer for 1 hour and take a picture of each prompt. See how many you can get in 1 hour. Have fun and work together. Use your pictures to create something to remember this time such as a scrapbook, collage, or Instagram reel.

1.      Find 4 items that start with the letters in the word L.O.V.E.

2.      Make a silly face in front of your favorite place.

3.      Picture together in a new place you have never been

4.      Picture where you first met

5.      A picture of a food you’ve eaten the last week

6.      Something soft

7.      Something that smells good

8.      Restaurant menu

9.      Wearing a funny hat

10.  Heart-shaped object

11.  Fresh flowers

12.  Smiling in the sun

13.  With someone you don’t know

14.  At a playground

15.  Next to a fountain

16.  With your favorite animal

17.  Doing a funny pose

18.  Wearing a fancy outfit

19.  Something Red

20.  In water

Bonus: In two places at once.